A New Year's resolution for a happier new you

Each year on December 31st at exactly 12:00 o'clock midnight fireworks light up the night sky, champagne corks pop, horns and whistles blow, hugs and kisses are exchanged and well wishes for a Happy New Year echo all over the world. Most people view this annual year end ritual as a chance to start the new year with a clean slate.

Out of habit, many people revert to making New Year resolutions at the start of every year. But I wonder how many of those new New Year's resolutions are actually holdovers from last year's failed attempts? We often regurgitate the same resolutions from year to year (i.e."This year I will lose the weight.") hoping for a different result. According to Clinical Psychologist and researcher John Norcross:

Approximately 50 percent of the population makes resolutions each New Year. Among the top resolutions are weight loss, exercise, stopping smoking, better money management and debt reduction.

Sound familiar? Well, you are not alone. Millions of people are stuck in this perennial revolving door of making New Year resolutions, only to break them a few weeks or months down the road, and revert to the same old way of doing things or to the same habits they promised to change. Let's face it, our human efforts at self-improvement are at best superficial, external, and destined to fail every time. Psychology professor Timothy Pychyl calls resolutions a form of cultural procrastination :

[In] an effort to reinvent oneself, people make resolutions as a way of motivating themselves. People [really] aren't ready to change their habits, particularly bad habits, and that accounts for the high failure rate.

And then, there are those who believe that all it takes is willpower to succeed in keeping resolutions (And how's that worked for you?). If willpower alone is all that's needed, you would have succeeded with that first diet or the first time you tried to stop smoking, drinking, using drugs or whatever else you tried to will yourself to stop or start doing. New Year resolutions by themselves have no power, says author S. Michael Houdmann:

Resolving to start or stop doing a certain activity has no value unless you have the proper motivation for stopping or starting that activity.

For a resolution to succeed, it takes more than proper motivation. Once you decide you want to make a change, you need a specific plan, organization, time management, peer or professional support to make it work. In "10 Worst New Year’s Resolutions (And How to Make Them Work)," writer Ann Pietrangelo lays out a partial recipe for success. However, even Pietrangelo's formula lacks one key ingredient, and that is— spiritual resolve.

No doubt we are creatures of habit. However, spiritual resolve acknowledges that we are also creatures created by a loving God for a purpose. As such, we are ultimately accountable to our Creator. Spiritual resolve must under-gird any desire we have for a changed life. Without spiritual resolve and God's help, our human efforts are nothing more than a house built on sand. The Bible explains it this way:

When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17 TLB

It takes spiritual resolve to surrender your old life in exchange for a new life in Christ. When resolutions fail, God alone has the power to change you. You don't have to go it alone anymore trying to make life work, you have a helper to guide you. Likewise, you don't have to wait until next December 31 at 12 o'clock midnight to take advantage of the offer. You can begin this new year with your sins forgiven and a chance to start your life over. Believe me, it doesn't get any better than this. I speak from experience. Happy new year, happier new you!

The 2,000 year old rumor that is still being spread around the world

We all know how rumors are spread. One person hears or sees something and tells someone else. That person tells another person who tells another, who tells another, who tells another, and so on. Rumors can travel like wildfire through neighborhoods, cities, towns, countries, across oceans, and nowadays, over the Internet. Long before you or I was born a rumor got started that is still being spread around the world more than 2,000 years later.

The rumor is that shepherds were in a field one night watching their sheep when suddenly an angel appeared to them saying: "Today, in the town of David, a savior has been born to you; He is Christ, the Lord. This will be a sign to you. You will find the baby wrapped in clothes lying in a manger (Luke 2:11 NIV)." After the initial shock of this unexpected heavenly visitation, one of the shepherds said: "Let us go to Bethlehem and see this thing [check out this rumor] that has happened, which the Lord has told us about (Luke 2:15 NIV)." So, off they went to Bethlehem leaving their sheep behind.

When they arrived days later, they found the mother Mary, father Joseph and the promised baby just as the angel had said. Now these shepherds had a choice, they could have just observed the happenings at the stable, hung around worshiping and getting their praise on and then returned home to the fields. After all, they had busy jobs with a flock of hungry, needy sheep to feed and care for. Instead of going home and keeping what they had witnessed to themselves, these transformed shepherds set out across the land to "spread the word [rumor] concerning what had been told to them about this child. And all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them (Luke 2:17 NIV)."

Today, by the power of the Holy Spirit, this rumored birth of Christ Jesus, the savior for all humankind, which the shepherds spread thousands of years ago, is still being spread around the world on every known continent by Christians everywhere. Perhaps you too are a believer today because somebody told somebody who told somebody, who told somebody, and that somebody told you about the Good News that a Savior called Christ Jesus was born into the world to save us from ours sins. The question now is, "Who have you told?"

To learn more about Jesus the Christ, go to peacewithgod.net

A Christmas miracle: When death took a detour

Miracle - A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.— Webster's dictionary

I believe in miracles. I have enough faith to expect them to happen in my life in when I pray. Even though we don't hear enough about divine miracles nowadays, they do still happen. I know because I was the recipient of a divine miracle on Christmas Day 2002. The following is a true account of that miracle and the events as they occurred that day.

To give you a little background, by December of that year, I had been caring for my 83 year old mother throughout her 22 year battle with primary progressive Multiple Sclerosis (MS). MS had long ago taken away her ability to walk, but by 2002, Mom had also lost her ability to speak, feed herself, chew or swallow. At the same time, she started having seizures, which gradually became more persistent, unrelenting, and life-threatening. As a result, Mom was hospitalized and given high doses of phenobarbital to quell the seizures. We left the hospital 12 days later, just three days before Christmas.

Even though mother couldn't speak, her eyes told me that she was glad to be back home. We both were. After I made her comfortable in bed and checked her feeding tube, I took a break to rest. When I returned to check on her, I noticed that Mom was staring hard at the window at the foot of her bed. She appeared not to even notice that I had entered the room. This was not like her.

I stood by her bedside calling her name, but she paid me no notice. Instead, she was focused hard at the foot of her bed like she saw something something in her room that my eyes couldn't see. The look on her face more radiant than I'd ever seen her. She was literally glowing, smiling even. I stood there waiting for her to finally notice me. I said nothing about what I had witnessed. As I readied the IV pole for her feeding, she looked directly at me, and with a trembling hand waved me off. I knew what she was asking, so I said, "Mom I can't not feed you that's between you and Jesus."

The next morning, the home care nurse came by for a routine check of Mom's vital signs. 

After the nurse left, I bathed, dressed, and transferred mother to her wheelchair. She was happy to be out of bed. The long hospital stay had been tough on her, but I told her that we were not going to let MS get the better of us; that we were in this fight together to the end.
I combed her hair before leaving her in the care of the aide while I went to the store. When I returned, the aide said Mom had called my name and then went to sleep. After letting the aide out, I went to check on Mom. When I couldn't wake her, I realized that she was not asleep; she had slipped quietly into a coma. It was Christmas Eve.

I really didn't know what else to do except put her to bed and hope that she would pull through as she had done in the past. Even though things were not looking good at that point, I made a decision not to take her back to the hospital. Going back to the hospital was not an option for us. It was Mom's wish and mine that when death came he would find her at home.  I called my sister and waited for her to come. During the long hours I was alone, I held Mom's hand and talked to her. I believed that even in her comatose state, she could still hear me.

Later that evening, my sister joined me in a bedside vigil for our mother. Together we stood watch as imminent death was poised to take our mother from us. I don't remember why, but for some reason, I needed something from the drugstore. My sister volunteered to go. It was after midnight when she left for the 24-hour pharmacy a few blocks away. It seemed like she was gone for a longer than usual time. I wondered if she was somewhere crying? I went over to the window and looked out. It was snowing. It was then that I realized it was Christmas Day.

I returned to mother's bedside and reached for her hand. I was surprised by how cold it had become. I started rubbing her arms, her legs, her feet. I was startled by how ice cold they had become like the life blood had drained from them. I searched my Mom's face to see if she was still breathing— she was, but just barely. Her breathing had become shallow and there was a faint rattling noise when she exhaled. Hurrying to the other side of the bed, I checked the 1,000 ml drainage bag hanging hung there. It should have been full to capacity since Mom was still taking in fluids through her feeding tube. But it was bone dry, except for a reddish-brown stain at the bottom. My immediate thought was that her kidneys had shut down. For the first time throughout this ordeal, I allowed myself the thought that Mom was slipping away—that she was in fact dying. Instinctively in desperation, I cried aloud—

"Mom, it's Christmas Day. Please don't die on Christmas."

At that moment, a sudden urge hit me to use the bathroom. When I returned moments later, I grasped Mom's hand again, and immediately noticed something was different. Her hand was warm. Surprised by this, I began feeling for her arms, legs, feet, forehead—her entire body was feverishly hot. I hurried to the other side of the bed to check her drainage bag. When only moments before it had been empty, it was now filled to overflowing with pale, yellow urine. At that moment, I realized what God had done—stopping death in it's tracks.

God heard my cry and ordered death to stand down. I can only imagine my Mom engaged in a negotiation with the Angel outside the gates of Heaven, holding up one finger and pleading—

"Please God, can I go back for just one more day for my daughter."

Mom didn't die on Christmas Day. She died the day after on December 26 sometime around 2:00 pm. My sister and I were together when Mom breathed her last. This miracle was nothing compared to what Jesus Christ did lover 2,0000 years ago when He died for the sins of the whole world to reconcile us to God. And because of Christ, life doesn't end at death. Whosoever believes in Christ has eternal life. I can't wait to see mother again to find out what really happened on that fateful Christmas Day.

God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die. John 3:16 CEV

Why Black History Month still matters in the 21st century

African-American Millennials say they never really learned anything useful during Black History Month activities at school, and they fret that having a formal, month-long observance gives the nation a pass to ignore black history the rest of the year.— Shreveport Times

Today's black youth are so far removed from the events recapitulated during Black History Month that some may question whether Black History Month is still relevant to them?. Obviously, those who think this way have never heard of George Santayana who famously said:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

What self-respecting people throws away its history? It would be foolish to do so. Every generation needs to know from whence it came in order to determine its future course. No one questions if the Revolutionary War or the Holocaust are still relevant today? Black History Month serves to remind blacks as well as whites of how far we've come as a nation since the dark days of slavery, Jim Crow, and segregation. Not only that, Black History Month gives blacks a chance to tell their history from their own point of view with no holds barred.

Without a doubt, blacks have an important place in American history whenever the story of America is told. Black History Month plays homage to this fact, and documents it. And while it may be inspiring, indeed, instructive to look in the rear view mirror of black history from time to time, each generation is responsible for confronting the vexing issues of their day, finding their own solutions, and taking their place alongside history. For 21st century blacks, this means speaking out about resurgent issues of racial inequality and social injustice that are not unlike those endured by earlier generations of blacks some 100 years ago in America. Black History Month should motivate 21st century blacks to continue confronting American society until these conditions no longer exist. We can't afford to take the pressure off. Freedom is too important a right to accept anything less..

Up from slavery, black lives have always mattered.

To do away with Black History Month would be like "cutting off our nose to spite our face." Black youth need Black History Month to understand their rightful place in the struggle for racial equality and social justice for their own generation.  The freedom mantle has been passed to a new generation. The question these 21st century blacks must ask themselves is not how far they've come, but where they're headed?

Black History Month recitations must move beyond reciting Dr Martin Luther King Jr's, "I Have A Dream" speech to the question King himself posed in his last book, "Where Do We go From Here: Chaos or Community? "  In that 1967 book, Dr King described the then state of black people in America as follows:

• Half of all Negroes live in substandard housing
• Negroes have half the income of whites
• There are twice as many Negroes unemployed
• The rate of infant mortality among Negroes is double that of whites
• In elementary schools, Negroes lag one to three years behind whites
• One twentieth as many Negroes as whites attend college
• Of employed Negroes, 75 percent hold menial jobs

The question blacks need to ask of themselves is "How much has changed since Dr King made those observations?"

According to former Harvard professor and theologian Cornel West not much has changed from 1967 to now, despite having a black president in the White House. West has been critical of President Barack Obama for what he says is "a perceived lack of quantifiable social and economic progress in poorer black communities."

Black people have suffered more in this age than in the recent past. Empirical indices of infant mortality rates, mass incarceration rates, mass unemployment and dramatic declines in household wealth reveal this sad reality. How do we account for this irony? It goes far beyond the individual figure of President Obama himself, though he is complicit; he is a symptom, not a primary cause. Although he is a symbol for some of either a post-racial condition or incredible Black progress, his presidency conceals the escalating levels of social misery in poor and Black America. —Black Prophetic Fire (Beacon Press) by Cornel West.

In 2014, The National Urban League released the 38th edition of "The State of Black America"  a report that details economic disparities impeding black progress— unemployment and underemployment, two strong indicators of growth and progress. Without question, there are large disparities between blacks and whites on all social and economic indices.

In the short span of 50 years, the outcry of blacks has gone from "We shall overcome" to "Black lives matter" reflecting a worsening of social and economic conditions in the black community. Without a Black History Month, 21st century blacks would have no idea how these two protests are inter-connected. A newly opened National Museum of African American History and Culture on the National Mall in Washington, DC provides a more permanent and accessible archive for everyone to study black history and its place in the history of America. If Black History Month has anything to teach America about its racially troubled past, it is this— the struggle against racial inequality and for social justice is one that we, as a nation, must win together.

I don't feel no ways tired, I've come too far from where I started from. Nobody told me that the road would be easy, I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me.— Curtis Burrell

Dancing for the Lord beats 'Dancing with the Stars'

I grew up in a Baptist church
Where it was hard for me, you see
To raise my hands and stomp my feet,
When I felt the Spirit move in me.

We just didn't do that sorta thing
Back where I came from.

"Child, you crazy?" Grandma'd say.
"You better sit still and hush that fuss
'fore I get my strap and give you some."

So, I'd sit there like a lady
Beside her like she said,
But way down deep on the inside
I'd be dancing out of my head.

When I grew up, I left the church
And went out on my own.
Free at last to let it all hang out
After all now, I was grown.

I took a chance
Cause I wanted to dance.
And the world beckoned, "Baby come on.
Shake that body to the beat

Let the rhythm take control.
Wave your hands in the air
Like you just don't care.
Get down right hysterical."

I danced for the world for quite awhile,
I was having so much fun.
Can't nobody stop me now (this child of the night.)
I knew nothing of the Son.

Then, one day between the smoke and the noise
I heard a small voice inside my head say,
"Come home my child, this isn't for you."
And as my eyes searched the crowd,
I knew it was true.

So, I went home that night and prayed:
"Father God, please forgive me for all the years I spent
Dancing to the beat of a different drummer
With all my heart I now repent."

"Come into my heart, Lord
Use my feet and my hands.
Teach me how to dance for you
Just like King David danced."

I wanna dance like David danced.
I wanna dance like David danced.

Got my hands in the air
Moving in the Spirit like I don't have a care.
Giving God some serious praise for the rest of my days
I wanna dance like David danced.

(c) 2003 Carolyn K. Erwin

Facebook is changing how we make 'friends'

While Facebook has enabled us to become more connected across geographic, cultural and generational divides, it’s also left many people, particularly the young, feeling more disconnected. ---Margie Warrell, Forbes

Getty

Click. I just unfriended some people on my Facebook page. Unfriending someone may sound cold and heartless, but to be honest, it was easier than I thought it would be. I felt no emotional pangs whatsoever. Besides, it made perfect sense under the circumstances. Except for incessant snippets and snapshot postings about "what's on [their] minds," I realized that I had no real connection to the people I unfriended. They weren't really my friends; they belonged to someone else. I added them because Facebook kept pushing me to do it, so I did.

In order to create a Facebook account, you have to add friends to your profile. My friends and your friends are Facebook's bread and butter. As the largest social media site in the world with 1.4 billion users, Facebook brings home 1 billion per quarter in advertising revenue thanks largely to the friends you and I feed into it. The more friends we add, the better Facebook likes us. Facebook gleans through the snippets of personal data we provide in our posts, sells the information to advertisers who then feed it back to us in the form of ads on our Facebook page. Adding insult to injury, some users have also been touting Facebook as a way for you to make money off your friends.

But forget about Facebook's motives, the real danger here is what Facebook is doing to our ability as human beings to relate to each other in meaningful ways. Before Facebook, a friend was usually someone with whom you shared life, a history and emotional ties; someone you cared about and who cared about you. Facebook changed all that by creating a platform that promotes instant friendships between persons whose only real connection may indeed be in cyberspace. In his blog, "Social media, Pretend Friends and the Lie of False Intimacy," writer Jay Baer says:

Social media forces upon us a feeling of intimacy and closeness that doesn't actually exist....Is that what we want – spending considerable time building large networks of shallow connections, potentially at the expense of deepening a few cherished friendships upon which we can truly rely?

With social media users spending on average an aggregate of 700 billion minutes a month online, the opportunity to cultivate and nurture offline friendships diminishes. The generation mostly affected by this are 18 to 24 year-olds who comprise 98 percent of social media users. Wherever you look, nowadays, you see young adults with their faces buried in their android devices, presumably checking their Facebook page, rather than interacting with the people around them. I remember watching a young couple in a restaurant having dinner. Between bites of food, their attention was focused more on their smartphones than on each other. And they're not alone; some older adults are just as guilty of this behavior. I wonder what 'Dear Abby' would say about someone who constantly checks their phone when they're with you?

So where are we headed as a society in light of our dogged reliance and near obsession with social media connectivity? A study by the American Sociological Association suggests that we are heading down a dangerous path toward social isolation, if not social stagnation:

The evidence shows that Americans have fewer confidants and those ties are also more family-based than they used to be. This change indicates something that’s not good for our society. Ties with a close network of people create a safety net. ---Lynn Smith-Lovin, professor of Sociology at Duke University

A post on Facebook or "tweet" on Twitter can never replace a hug when you really need one. Hopefully, you have someone in your life who fills the role of being there for you when you need them. When God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, he placed within their DNA a unique material property that seeks to pair up and replicate itself. God created humankind to have a relationship with Him, and with other people. Belonging defines our place in this world. Life is made richer by mutually satisfying relationships that are nurtured over time. We are defined by our relationships. Clearly, there needs to be a balance as well as a distinction between the relationships we create online and those we pursue in real life.

The people I unfriended from my Facebook page probably won't even miss me, or even realize that I'm gone. Well, no matter. No longer having to read their posts will give me more time to make a few more phone calls, send personal notes to friends I haven't connected with in awhile and join some real life friends for a game of cards. I'm sure Facebook will be waiting when I get back.

Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house,
when the Almighty was still with me and my children were around me --Job 29:4-5

Youth hostels are giving older travelers a bigger bang for their bucks

Hostels aren't just for the youth anymore. They're for anyone who's young at heart.

Hi-New York

The rise of mature backpackers means that hostels are no longer the preserve of 20-something backpackers. Hostel owners are now realizing that they can upgrade their facilities to cater to a wider audience.—Seth Sherwood

Regardless of whether or not you live on a fixed income, unless you're Donald Trump, nobody should want to spend more money than they have to for something they can get cheaper elsewhere. With the price of a night's lodging on the rise at even moderately priced hotels, older travelers are seeking an alternative, and some have found it in youth hostels.

Now don't let the word "youth" turn you away. The "youth" part has been dropped from the name because hostels aren't just for youth anymore. Hostels have been attracting increasing numbers of older adult travelers who are discovering what the youth have known all along— hostelling is a great way to see the world and not spend a fortune doing it (Sorry, Mr. Trump). Although still a primary destination for a younger generation, hostels are attracting an older clientele with their ideal locations, low cost and convenience.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I am a converted hosteler. Those who know me may be shocked that I would even consider sleeping in a hostel environment (pun intended). To be honest, when I first decided to try hostelling, I was somewhat apprehensive about what to expect. But I didn't go in cold, and neither should you. I did my homework, looked at websites, and read hostel reviews prior to booking. During a trip to Chicago, I actually checked out of my hotel early just so I could spend one night in a hostel to try it out. My first night at the Hi-Chicago hostel, the staff served up a complimentary meal of Chicago-style hot dogs. From that point on, I was hooked on hostels.

Whatever misgivings, reluctance or fears you may have about hostels, I urge you to keep an open mind. Hostels have grown up, and more importantly, spruced up, as travel writer, Alex Schechter, points out:

Forget the typical hostel clichés of cramped rooms, messy bathrooms, and lackluster design. As hotels show across-the-board improvements in their amenities, public spaces, and digital capabilities, so too are hostels catching up to the times with contemporary designs, upgraded facilities, centralized locations, and dedicated concierge staff.

Forget about the glam and glamour because you won't find it in most hostels. What you will find are clean, comfortable, safe accommodations in some great places for far less than what most hotels charge. Hostels offer a dormitory style sleeping arrangement, which means you could be sharing a room with other people (Sound a little creepy? I thought so too, at first). Room sharing configurations can have as few as four or as many as 12 beds to a room, depending on the size of the hostel. But if room-sharing bothers you, many hostels also have private rooms, which will cost you a little more. If you are traveling with family members, you can all share the same room or suite. Unlike a hotel, you won't get room service in a hostel. Instead, most hostels have fully equipped kitchens for you to store and prepare your own meals. Some hostels include a continental breakfast in the room charge, or may have an on-site cafe where you can purchase meals. These comments are from a veteran hosteler:

I was quite anxious before I had stayed in a hostel for the first time. I was concerned about the safety of my belongings and how easy it would be to meet people in each one I stayed. But the more I traveled, the more I realized hostels really are for everybody. They’re for people from all social backgrounds, from all parts of the world, all walks of life and all ages. If you’re concerned that your age puts hostels out of your reach, I’ve two words for you – don’t be.—Colm Hanratty

If you like making new friends, hostels are a great way to meet travelers from other countries. On a recent visit to New York, I stayed at the Hi-New York City hostel where I met Marie from Martinique and Virina from Germany, who I gifted with a copy of the New Testament. Both women are staying in hostels as they travel throughout the U.S. I also met Ben from Ghana. I didn't see my roommates very much, but I do know they were from Brazil, Australia and Sweden. For their part, hostels try to foster a sense of community among the guests through organized activities like city tours, pub crawls, comedy nights, movies and pizza parties. Participation is voluntary.

There are many hostels located in cities throughout the U.S. and around the world. Think of someplace in the world you'd like to go. You might be surprised to learn that there is at least one hostel there, maybe more. An easy way to find out is to do an online search at Hostelling International and Hostelworld, two of the largest hostel booking and membership sites. Between these two websites, you'll find thousands of hostel listings in places like—New Orleans, Miami Beach, San Diego, London, Paris, Portugal, China, Africa, The Netherlands—just to give you an idea of what's out there.

Well, I've just about said all that I can on the subject. It's now up to you to decide if hostelling is for you. As for me, I'm off to book my next hostel adventure in Miami Beach. Until next time, Hostel la vista, baby.

When you were young, you were able to do as you liked and go wherever you wanted to; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands and others will direct you and take you where you don’t want to go.—John 21:18 TLB